Deployments stretch even strong families. Routines change, communication gets tricky, and emotions can swing from pride to worry in the same hour. Today, we’ll give you a clear, compassionate plan—grounded in evidence and military-specific resources—to support your own mental health and help your children stay steady and connected until homecoming.
At Nurturing Parenting, we keep our approach simple and human: non-violent, dignity-centered parenting that builds empathy, self-worth, appropriate expectations, and healthy family roles. Those anchors don’t change just because a loved one is away—they become even more important.
First things first: your rapid-response safety net
- Military & Veterans Crisis Line: Dial 988, then press 1, text 838255, or chat online—24/7, confidential, for service members, Guard/Reserve, Veterans, and family supporters. You don’t need to be enrolled in VA to use it.
- Military OneSource (24/7): Call 800-342-9647 or live chat for immediate guidance and quick referrals anywhere in the world.
If you’re in immediate danger, call 911.
Your Resilience Game Plan (Step-by-Step)
1) Put a professional on your team—now, not later
- Non-medical counseling is available at no cost through Military OneSource (solution-focused, short-term, confidential). It’s designed for concerns like stress, parenting, relationships, and deployment transitions. Sessions are flexible (phone, video, in-person).
- Military & Family Life Counselors (MFLC), including Child & Youth Behavioral MFLCs, offer confidential, non-medical support to spouses and kids at installations, schools, and youth programs worldwide. They help with deployment stress, behavior challenges, and everyday problem-solving.
2) Use the DoD resilience tools made for your pocket
- Download Chill Drills by Military OneSource—audio exercises (progressive muscle relaxation, breathing, sleep tracks) you can use offline to lower stress arousal. Keep it on your phone and your kids’ tablets.
- For structured family skills, explore FOCUS (Families OverComing Under Stress)—an evidence-based program that teaches goal setting, emotion regulation, and a shared family story to handle separations and stress reminders.
3) Build a calm-down toolkit you’ll actually use
Evidence supports a few simple practices you can teach yourself and your kids:
- Box or diaphragmatic breathing (slow inhale, longer exhale) reduces physiological stress responses.
- Progressive muscle relaxation helps release body tension (many MFLCs and Chill Drills use it).
- Mindfulness (short, attention-training exercises) improves stress tolerance and emotional regulation in adults and youth.
- 5-4-3-2-1 grounding (name 5 things you see…1 thing you taste) brings anxious minds back to the present; it’s easy for kids to learn.
Set aside 5–10 minutes daily. Reps matter more than perfection.
4) Make a realistic communication plan (that respects OPSEC)
Agree on how and when you’ll connect (and what to do when the line goes silent). Limited contact is normal during operations; sometimes communications pause for security. Your unit’s Deployment Readiness staff will share updates when possible.
- Keep messages short, steady, and OPSEC-safe—no locations, timelines, or mission details on calls, texts, or social media. The Army’s current guidance is clear: don’t post deployment dates, unit movements, or images that reveal sensitive info.
- Balance live calls with asynchronous ideas that survive blackout windows: recorded bedtime stories, “open-when” notes, shared journals, or voice memos. Healthy conversations during deployment are linked to better morale and smoother reintegration later. (HPRC-online.org)
5) Keep kids connected to other military kids
Children cope better when they don’t feel alone in the experience.
- Military Kids Connect (DoD) offers moderated forums, activities, and education for ages 6–17 across the deployment cycle. (FFR CNIC Navy)
- Sesame Street for Military Families (ages ~2–8) provides bilingual videos, printables, and routines for separation, homecoming, grief, and more. (Sesame Street for Military Families)
- Look at Operation Purple (NMFA) for summer programs that intentionally build connection and resilience with peers. (National Military Family Association)
6) Protect school momentum and daily structure
A steady rhythm calms brains of all ages. Keep wake/meal/bedtimes within an hour of normal. If deployment stress affects focus or behavior, ask the school about CYB-MFLC support on campus and share simple classroom strategies (movement breaks, check-ins).
Need academic triage during a rough patch? Eligible families can use Tutor.com for U.S. Military Families for 24/7 homework help and skill refreshers.
7) Know your therapy-from-home options
TRICARE covers telemental health across regions; video sessions can reduce travel and keep care consistent during deployment. Referral rules vary by plan and service type, so check the TRICARE telemental health page and your regional contractor before you book.
8) Use the Military Family Readiness System to your advantage
You don’t have to assemble everything alone. The Military Family Readiness System (MFRS) is the DoD’s network of programs (installation support centers, EFMP, counseling, deployment readiness, and more) designed to strengthen family well-being. Start with Military OneSource or your local Military & Family Support Center to map what’s available. (WHS ESD)
A simple weekly rhythm that works (and fits real life)
10 minutes for you:
Practice one calm-down skill (breathing, body scan, or a Chill Drill track). Stack it onto something you already do daily (morning coffee, school pickup). (Military OneSource)
10 minutes for your child:
- Younger kids: read a feelings book, then do one grounding game (5-4-3-2-1 with a window view). (University of Rochester Medical Center)
- Tweens/teens: a short “high/low/next” check-in (one win, one hard thing, one plan for tomorrow) plus a mindfulness minute. Mindfulness is linked with better emotion regulation and coping in youth. (PMC)
5 minutes for the household:
Update the whiteboard—this week’s rides, meals, bedtimes, and any “blackout” windows when you may not hear from your service member (to reset expectations and reduce anxiety). (iimef.marines.mil)
Signs it’s time to add extra support
Reach out to a counselor (MFLC, Military OneSource, your pediatrician, or a licensed therapist) if you notice:
- Persistent sleep trouble, headaches, or stomachaches
- Withdrawal from friends or activities
- Escalating behavior issues or frequent school calls
- Thoughts of self-harm or substance misuse
You can also call Military OneSource 24/7 for fast routing to the right resource.
How we can support you during deployment
We partner with families to translate Nurturing Parenting principles into daily routines that work during separation: coaching you through communication plans that respect OPSEC, age-appropriate coping skills, and “repair-and-reset” conversations when emotions run hot. Our programs are delivered in group, home-based, and blended formats so you can choose what fits your schedule.
Bottom line: You don’t have to white-knuckle deployment. With a few daily practices, the right communication plan, and the military’s built-in support network, you can protect your mental health and give your children sturdy, teachable tools they’ll use for life. And if you want a partner to help you put this plan in motion, we’re here to walk it with you.