For generations, cultural norms have treated pregnancy as “women’s work.” While the mother carries the physical weight of the pregnancy, the emotional and psychological weight was never meant to be carried alone.
In many of the families we serve—whether through social work agencies or community classes—we often see partners standing on the sidelines. They may feel unsure of their role, anxious about the future, or simply believe that their job doesn’t start until the baby is born.
At Nurturing Parenting®, we emphasize the construct of Healthy Family Roles. This means breaking down rigid stereotypes and recognizing that nurturing is a job for everyone in the family. Today, we are discussing why partners are not just “helpers” during pregnancy—they are essential to the health and development of the baby.
The “Silent” Impact of the Partner
Research consistently shows that the single biggest factor in a healthy pregnancy—aside from medical care—is the mother’s stress level. High levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) in a pregnant mother can cross the placenta and impact the developing fetal brain.
This is where the partner becomes the “guardian of the environment.”
Emotional Regulation: A supportive partner who listens, validates feelings, and shares the load helps lower the mother’s stress response.
Safety and Security: When a partner is actively involved, the mother feels safer. This sense of safety allows her body to prioritize the baby’s growth rather than staying in “fight or flight” mode.
Bonding Happens Before Birth
Many partners feel disconnected from the pregnancy because they cannot feel what the mother feels. However, babies are born recognizing not just their mother’s voice, but their partner’s voice as well.
We encourage partners to start their relationship with the child now.
Talk to the Bump: Reading or singing to the baby helps the child recognize the partner as a safe, familiar presence immediately after birth.
Touch: Gentle touch on the belly (with permission) can stimulate the baby and create a physical connection for the partner.
Redefining “Providing”
In traditional gender roles, a partner often feels their only contribution is financial—to “provide” for the family. While financial support is important, the Nurturing Parenting philosophy teaches that emotional providing is just as critical.
We need to shift the mindset from “I need to work more hours to buy a crib” to “I need to spend time connecting with my family to build a foundation.”
Attend Appointments: Going to prenatal check-ups sends a clear message: We are in this together.
Learn Together: Participating in a Prenatal Education Program helps partners understand child development, so they aren’t relying solely on the mother to be the “expert.”
The Team Approach
To the social workers and facilitators working with families: Keep inviting the partners. Keep emphasizing that their presence changes outcomes.
To the partners: You are needed. Not just to paint the nursery or install the car seat, but to be a source of calm, empathy, and love. Your parenting journey has already begun.